It’s always easier to start with other people. Spend a few seconds thinking of someone you admire. This can be anyone from anytime and anywhere. List three traits they possess that you admire most. Use only a few words, no sentences… think bullet points. Do it now. Really, just write or type it … yes, it’s required.

Ok now think of someone who really presses your buttons. The one person who really irritates you and sets you off. List three traits they possess that annoy the heck out of you. Just three bullet points. Do it now.

So, if you are reading this line without having done the above exercises I’m going to have to add you to my annoying list… There is still a chance to stay off that list … do them both now.

For me, a person that skims info without doing the necessary work… is ANNOYING!! [And yes… I have, on occasion, skimmed through a few exercises… Guilty!]

Ok, here’s the thing about all of us. We resonate with the familiar, it’s physiology. You may have heard of the Secret, like attracts like or maybe Einstein’s quote about aligning energies with that which you want to make yours or the ever reliable, time tested… Takes one to know one.

Those things that you are strongly drawn to, or repelled from, are within you. On the positive side after a little self-reflection you will at least see that these admirable traits are the ones you aspire to master. It’s quite likely that you already demonstrate them and may have failed to notice. We often take our own strengths in stride thinking; If I can do it so can everyone else. Some people completely disregard some of their most impressive strengths like this.

On the less flattering side you may not realize that you too my friend, are guilty of that which you accuse. Something in you recognizes something familiar in those you admire as well as those who annoy you. You may not realize that you have something similar going on, something on some level that you’re not all that impressed with.

Does someone drive you crazy because they talk too much in meetings? Try being more concise. Is there a know-it-all on your list? Try soliciting for more input and lecture a bit less. Personally, I have to start doing the suggested exercises in the self-help books before reading on and ruining the fun! This annoying little habit, by the way, it is a new discovery for me as a result of writing this darn blog.

It’s not an automatic thing, it’s not an easy thing to do, but it’s worth your time. There are quite a few coaches out there who now hire coaches because they can see that there are blind spots but can’t quite  get a grip. It works, and it’s a good short cut but I say – try this first.

Work with and embrace both sides of your traits and you will develop the habit of leveraging the strengths and curbing the development areas as needed; most of the time. Next time someone presses your buttons, experiment by being grateful for a discovery about yourself. Then just overlook their behavior, internally acknowledge it, then just let it go and get to the point. Stay focused, detach from emotional impacts then move forward and get things done. No, it doesn’t work for every single situation, but it works for a lot of them.

Begin a practice of self-reflection by recalling situations when you experienced an emotional response. Become more effective by releasing attachment to the behavioral traits and attitudes of others on the team. Make it a practice to recognize that you just might be receiving a signal to better manage yourself … it could happen.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

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Here’s what to do …

A lot of very successful project managers started their careers by being thrown into the role just as everything falls apart on the project.  Usually, projects falling apart is the first observable sign, to the casual observer, that a project manager is needed to lead a project. It means your first foray into project management begins with project recovery.  Oh… how nice it would be to have been to be there at the beginning.  Too bad, so sad, maybe next time.  Let’s wipe that look of being a deer in the headlights off your face.  Here are some first steps for taking on this new role.

Educate Yourself: 

Find at least three project management books that are short or very easy to flip through to find guidance on Work Breakdown Structures (WBS), creating plans, and risk management.  There are hundreds of project management books, the mother of all of them is the PMI’s PMBOK® (A Guide to the Project Management Body of Knowledge).  It won’t be much help at this very moment but if you’re going to be doing this for a while it’s a must have reference book.  Join online project management groups and ask questions.

Define the Basics:

• The Team: There will be a team of some sort identified. Establish who is either doing, or directly managing those who are doing, the work. This is your core team. The others are there for status updates; they are a kind of extended team for now. Immediately split this group up or you may never get anything done. Nothing personal, just two different objectives. My first team on one large scale project recovery had 27 members. NIGHTMARE!!!! Publish a schedule of the core team meetings and if necessary the extended team updates. With luck you can eliminate the second team with a reliable status report.
• The Problem: This is a bit trickier. The problem sometimes appears to be that the project is late, because it’s not meeting milestones. This is a symptom, not the problem. Find the document outlining the plan, if there isn’t one, that’s a problem. Determine if the right resources are accountable for what needs to be done, it’s a part of the plan, again, if there isn’t a link to the resources needed, that’s a problem. Ok, you get it, most often the problem is that there isn’t an integrated plan outlining what the product of the project is, the work that has to be done, and the resources (the team members, the budget, and any facilities) needed to get the project done.
• The Constraints and Requirements: What has to be done and by when. Now, as a PM you must ask “Why?” You have to understand the purpose of the project and its alignment to the final product (or service or process). Sometimes deadlines exist for very important reasons, sometimes they are targets. Understand what is negotiable, and what absolutely is not – know why.

Work with an expert:  Find a PM mentor in your company, one that will facilitate some initial meetings for you so that you can hit the ground running. If there isn’t a real expert in project management, go find one. Here is a quick test.  Ask them what is in a project plan.  If the answer describes a schedule, they’re not an expert.  It is part of it, but it certainly isn’t all of it. You will need to have planning sessions to understand the work to be done by the people who do that work. This is a larger group than your core team. You will identify and create response strategies to the risks they identify and differentiate them from the issues you are currently dealing with. Know the difference. For a small project these meeting might take around three to four hours.  For larger programs it could be up to four days.  There’s no time to develop the expertise – get an experienced project manager to facilitate, then learn as you go for next time…. Yes, I’m afraid there will be a next time… and another…

There are a lot more things to be done, of course, this is just a start – good luck.

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