A key leadership skill is constructive self reflection. It’s a great way to see into your own blind spots. Taking time for honest self-reflection is one way strong leaders achieve access to their blind spots. If you are aspiring to become a stronger leader, here is a quick exercise to begin your own self-reflection practice. Get a pen and paper or open a Word document; there’s an assignment involved.
It’s always easier to start with other people. Spend a few seconds thinking of someone you admire. This can be anyone from anytime and anywhere. List three traits they possess that you admire most. Use only a few words, no sentences… think bullet points. Do it now. Really, just write or type it … yes, it’s required.
Ok now think of someone who really presses your buttons. The one person who really irritates you and sets you off. List three traits they possess that annoy the heck out of you. Just three bullet points. Do it now.
So, if you are reading this line without having done the above exercises I’m going to have to add you to my annoying list… There is still a chance to stay off that list … do them both now.
For me, a person that skims info without doing the necessary work… is ANNOYING!! [And yes… I have, on occasion, skimmed through a few exercises… Guilty!]
Ok, here’s the thing about all of us. We resonate with the familiar, it’s physiology. You may have heard of the Secret, like attracts like or maybe Einstein’s quote about aligning energies with that which you want to make yours or the ever reliable, time tested… Takes one to know one.
Those things that you are strongly drawn to, or repelled from, are within you. On the positive side after a little self-reflection you will at least see that these admirable traits are the ones you aspire to master. It’s quite likely that you already demonstrate them and may have failed to notice. We often take our own strengths in stride thinking; If I can do it so can everyone else. Some people completely disregard some of their most impressive strengths like this.
On the less flattering side you may not realize that you too my friend, are guilty of that which you accuse. Something in you recognizes something familiar in those you admire as well as those who annoy you. You may not realize that you have something similar going on, something on some level that you’re not all that impressed with.
Does someone drive you crazy because they talk too much in meetings? Try being more concise. Is there a know-it-all on your list? Try soliciting for more input and lecture a bit less. Personally, I have to start doing the suggested exercises in the self-help books before reading on and ruining the fun! This annoying little habit, by the way, it is a new discovery for me as a result of writing this darn blog.
It’s not an automatic thing, it’s not an easy thing to do, but it’s worth your time. There are quite a few coaches out there who now hire coaches because they can see that there are blind spots but can’t quite get a grip. It works, and it’s a good short cut but I say – try this first.
Work with and embrace both sides of your traits and you will develop the habit of leveraging the strengths and curbing the development areas as needed; most of the time. Next time someone presses your buttons, experiment by being grateful for a discovery about yourself. Then just overlook their behavior, internally acknowledge it, then just let it go and get to the point. Stay focused, detach from emotional impacts then move forward and get things done. No, it doesn’t work for every single situation, but it works for a lot of them.
Begin a practice of self-reflection by recalling situations when you experienced an emotional response. Become more effective by releasing attachment to the behavioral traits and attitudes of others on the team. Make it a practice to recognize that you just might be receiving a signal to better manage yourself … it could happen.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]