Coaching wasn’t part of my job description, but it was something I really enjoyed while working in corporate America. There are a variety of reasons why some people are miserable in their position at work: their boss, the work they do, the person next to them, or a fundamental disconnect with their values. When people come to me for advice, I start with an exercise, where I ask them to think about the situation from a different perspective. It’s the first step to exploring how to create scenarios around how they might change the way they look at something or someone.
We spend a good amount of time there, but if that doesn’t work, we then explore how they might find something different to look at which is the go-to solution for those whose have a disconnect between company and personal values. Yep, that means, in most cases, getting a new job. So, if you don’t like what you’re looking at change the way you see it or look at something else.
I like to explore using the top of Maslow’s hierarchy, telling us how people long to make a difference. They long to be self-actualized—they can make a difference by making real contributions based on what they have to offer in combination with their own core values. And the best that they have to offer is directly linked to those things that they are truly passionate about.
One of the requirements for success, to insist clients move toward something. I tell them that if they are focused on just getting away from something, they don’t need a coach. My style of coaching requires a destination involving your passions, your strengths, and those things you enjoy. Having no destination in mind is the direct route to repeating mistakes. My own memories of repeating mistakes include slapping my forehead while saying, “Oh no, not this again!”
When I was in my job feeling frustrated and angry again, I wondered once again if the real me was disappearing. I submitted my retirement papers and had six more months before I was free to run my own life!
In that life I would be a consultant. But, if I continued to show my frustration as a consultant like I did on the job, I wouldn’t even make it through the initial interview. That realization led to the idea that I had to change immediately.
I decided to look at my job differently while I was preparing to look at something different. I created a new reality by playing and pretending that I would now be working with new clients for a management group that had just hired me as their consultant. D G Suberla Consulting, LLC is on the job!
This change in perspective was one of the most pivotal points of my life. All those things that used to drive me crazy were now opportunities. I made a practice of carefully listening for core needs, and I stopped worrying about terminology. I even felt compelled to listen to their suggestions. And darn it, there were several nuggets that I added to my consulting arsenal. I just needed to listen and be open to helping them, and I was helped in return! Who knew?
Next thing I knew, I was hearing phrases from my boss like “Once again, Dee, you have exceeded my expectations!” Wow, this was amazing. I laughed out loud and thanked him. How many times had I counseled people to get themselves to a better place by changing how they looked at something? A lot, and yet it took me years to take my own counsel. I thought I was following my own advice by retiring, thinking that I was changing what I was looking at. Ah, but first I inadvertently changed the way I was looking at the situation. In retrospect, I was quitting corporate America to go into consulting … in corporate America. Not really changing up the what there. Which is good because I loved the work!
In the corporate world, it was explained on meeting room posters: “Begin with the end in mind.” It included getting to know the people around me, learning what their vision of the end product was, and finding a way to collaborate and contribute as much as I could by using my expertise and doing what I really enjoyed—getting things done.
Are you looking to make a change but need a little inspiration? Be one of the first 3 people to contact Dee@SuberlaCosulting for a Free Change Maker Session. After that people will reserve a Change Maker Session for just $27. This is a 45-minute video conference to create the change you need to move forward. Offer expires March 31, 2021 Midnight Central Daylight Savings Time.
P.S. If you’d like a signed hard cover copy of C’mon Let’s Play contact Dee@SuberlaConsulting to make arrangements. Watch for news on book signing events– post COVID-19!
Next Month: Soooooo, What Do You Think?
C’mon Let’s Play! Living, Playing and Moving Forward
Living, Playing and Moving Forward By Dee G Suberla